Looking to be a better partner? Why not try scheduling sex? It may sound unromantic, but scheduling sex can actually be a great way to make sparks fly in your relationship. Life is busy, and it can be difficult to find time to connect physically with your partner, especially if you are only looking for a spontaneous, spur-of-the-moment interaction. This becomes even more true as you add in factors like kids, conflicting work schedules, hobbies, and other things that take up time throughout the week.
But making an effort to prioritize your sexual relationship can help you and your partner connect emotionally, feel more in-synch with one another, recommit and reignite your love for each other, and keep that love burning bright as you grow in your relationship—all of which will help you be a better partner. And while scheduling time for sex may remove some of the spontaneity, there are other ways to keep it fun and fresh. Here are six ideas to help increase romance through scheduling sex:
1. Send Flirty Texts and Messages
On the day you and your partner plan to have sex, spend the hours leading up to the event sending flirty texts to let them know how excited you are to be with them. This builds anticipation and keeps the idea of being together at the forefront of your minds, which can significantly enhance your overall experience. Think of it as foreplay that lasts all day long, keeping the connection alive and exciting. Using this technique can help you be a better partner by showing your significant other they are always on your mind.
2. Share Fantasies and Make Them a Reality
Spend some time fantasizing about how you might like your time together to go. Sharing these fantasies can be a powerful way to connect emotionally and physically. Research has found that couples who communicate openly about their sexual desires report higher levels of satisfaction in their relationship. Discussing and acting out these fantasies can make your scheduled encounters more thrilling and fulfilling, helping you be a better partner by being attentive to your partner’s desires.
3. Set the Mood
Take a little time to set the mood by lighting candles, slipping into something comfortable, turning on some music, etc. Creating a romantic atmosphere can make your scheduled time feel special and intimate. Environment can play an important role in sexual satisfaction and emotional intimacy, as it has the potential to impact our feelings of comfort, safety, relaxation, and openness. A well-thought-out setting can transform a planned encounter into a memorable experience, allowing you to be a better partner by showing your significant other that you value your time together.
4. Plan Date Nights Leading Up to the Main Event
Integrate your scheduled sex into a broader romantic context by planning date nights leading up to the main event. Enjoying dinner, watching a movie, or simply taking a walk together can enhance your emotional connection and build anticipation. Relationship experts agree that spending quality time together outside the bedroom strengthens the bond between you and improves overall relationship satisfaction. Being proactive in planning date nights helps you be a better partner by demonstrating commitment to nurturing your relationship.
5. Use Scheduling Tools
To make scheduling easier and more effective, consider using a shared calendar or a specific app designed for couples (check out some of them here). Tools like these help ensure that both partners are on the same page and can look forward to the planned time together. Utilizing technology thus can be a helpful way to maintain a healthy sexual relationship, enabling you to be a better partner by staying organized and thoughtful.
6. Surprise Each Other Within the Schedule
While the time is scheduled, the details don’t have to be. Surprise your partner with new experiences, whether it’s a different location, new lingerie, or trying out a new activity together. The element of surprise can keep things exciting and prevent the encounters from feeling routine. Experts suggest that novelty in relationships can reignite passion and help maintain a strong connection over time. Being spontaneous within a scheduled framework can help you be a better partner by keeping the romance fresh and exciting.
Conclusion
Scheduling sex may initially seem like it lacks spontaneity, but it can actually enhance your relationship by ensuring you prioritize time together. By incorporating elements of anticipation, communication, ambiance, and surprise, you can keep the romance alive and strengthen your bond. Taking deliberate steps to connect physically and emotionally can transform scheduled sex into a cornerstone of a thriving, passionate relationship. Remember, being a better partner is not just about spontaneous gestures but also about making consistent, intentional efforts to nurture your relationship.
Want more ideas on how to improve your relationship? Check out HRC’s free healthy relationship workshops!